Goldilocks and the Three Bears

Once upon a time there were three bears, Daddy Bear, Mommy Bear, and Baby Bear. They lived in a small enclave of bears, and loved above all else porridge, sleep and walks in the woods. One day while they were out walking in the woods, a little girl named Goldilocks entered their cottage and ate all the porridge and fell asleep there. Returning home, the bears were hungry. Lacking porridge, they dismembered Goldilocks and devoured her on the spot. She was so tender and delicious that from that day forth they ceased eating porridge and dined exclusively on the flesh of young virgin girls.